I have a deep, seething hatred of the heathen Object Oriented Languages. I don`t want to create the universe to have a glass of lemonade! Just lemmie drink it first thing! I also hate the whippersnapper trend of starting arrays at 0! The machine works for you! Make it conform to YOUR brain, not the other way around! Be a hero, not a zero! If you don`t comment your newfangled code, I will come to your door and smack you with your own hipster laptop bag! You never know who will maintain it when you die! Make it readable! Self-documentation is a lie from the devil!
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